the one who stands alone

                                                                                            The one who stands alone came out this very wicked night. He came out for your blood, sweet and tears. He's coming for you, don't say I didn't warn you. AHHHH HES THERE HES THERE HES COMING FOR ME.

BOOM…. It goes cold and death like silence, I froze. As I stood there in disbelief that I was just running for my life and then boom there's nothing. I hear a rustling in the bush. I jump back with fear, millions of thoughts are rushing through my head. I'm scared, scared to move a muscle, I don't know if I should run or not. At this point I give up, I give up on running away, I give up on everything. I just stand there and just wait to be faced with my death. The bush keeps rustling, then a little tiny hedgehog comes out, I still freak out and jump back, then realize it's a cute little hedgehog. I walk away to go to my car to go home. As I'm walking a glimpse of light catches my eye, I can't help but wonder what it is. I tell myself “no. don't go, don't let the urge win.” but it just got too much. I heard a faint scream, I can't handle this urge, I can't fight it anymore. I broke. so I followed this strange light. As I got closer I heard less and less noise of the cars going past. at last, the only thing I can hear is my footsteps on the cold paved concrete path. It was like this path was made to take me to whatever this light was. This mysterious green light starts to flicker, it starts flying around in the dark, its playing tricks on me. As I get to where this light was coming from I trip on a step, I realize that there is a small lot of stairs, I hesitate, I go to turn back but I see that this path that I'm standing on is crumbling and I have no choice but to run up the stairs and face whatever is coming my way. I walk in further, the light that I seen outside is now here and flying around at me as if it wants me to follow it. I think about it for a little while and decide to let it take me wherever, my thoughts are exactly “it's brought me this far, why not let it take me all the way.”

Step after step I feel presents growing, I feel that shiver down my spine, the goosebumps jump out of my skin. This light leads me into this room, the jet black colour fills the room, im faced with darkness, all I can see are my demons lurking in the dark. Although I know how scary demons are meant to be, I feel one with them, I don't feel scared, I feel, well, “normal” this adrenaline that's rushing through my veins is addicting. 

It's crazy really. When you think about it, after all I am only a little girl, but I already have so many demons with me. Is it because of my choices I have made in the past? Is it the constant battle I have with myself, if I'm good enough? Is it because I play victim in almost every situation I am in? Is it because I am constantly throwing other people around me under the bus? Like my family, my friends and the people I am closest to? Why am I like this? All these thoughts were rushing through my head, it feels like it's going to pop. the tension is rising, and rising, I can't handle this anymore. Finally, I snap out of it, I'm left trying to catch my breath. As I feel there beating eyes staring at me, I take a breath. I reflect on the past three years, what I have done, both good and bad.  For the past week I have been doing really bad. I have been feeling really bad and thinking that all I do is bad, I don't see the good that I do, I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel that I dug out and carved myself. I realise that i'm not all bad. I just made some really crappy decisions. But I can come back from this. I will make it out of the tunnel, whether I do that alone or with someone, that all depends on what the people around me do. They all stood by and watched me carve out my own tunnel, they watched me suffer and ache, and now they want to help me. What is going through their heads? Why all of a sudden do they want to help me? Is it because no one actually seen me suffering? did I hide it that well? All the lies I told myself, did I really believe them that much that other people did as well? 

All these theories are going through my head, I had to take a seat. It feels as if my head has been tossed in a washing machine and the door has been jammed shut and all these thoughts are just going around and around on a never ending cycle. 

I see the light again. I remember that's what brought me here, and I wanted to know why it did. Despite all the thoughts going through my head, I decided to look around, I hear screaming, I can't tell if it is a teen or an adult screaming. I walk out of this room and look around the halls. I turn the corner and enter this massive room, the walls covered in some weird green substance. Searching high and low for a light switch so I can get a better view of what's in front of me. As I'm walking, all around me I can hear scattering, I felt something brush across my legs, I stand still listening to where it's going, at last I find the light switch. The room gets filled with light and I can see what is around me. A trail of green sticky stuff is leading to the other side of the room, I hear screaming again. I take a step towards the trail and a dirty stench hits my nose leaving me wanting to puke. The smell is filling the whole room now, I go to leave but it is worse, I can't turn around and go back. I have to go forward, I would hesitate, but the smell, it's just so bad, I can't even describe it.  I'm finding it hard to see. Even my eyes are running. 

My footsteps are echoing all around me, it sounds like i'm not alone. The more steps I take the harder it is for me to breathe. I'm now fighting for air. I feel like i'm going to pass out. As I drop to the ground, just before my head hits and I completely black out, someone grabs me. they start to pull me out of this dark place, at first i'm reluctant to leave all my demons and feeling that are in the room. they have stood by me when no one else has.